Wow... It's been a crazy long time.  My first IB year is consuming me with homework and stress.  Blah...  But, I have finally found the time to procrastinate, and I have something to talk about, so here it goes:

I had an interesting conversation with a very good friend of mine the other day about the future that really made me realize something about myself.  He was telling me how he imagined his life to turn out and asked me where I wanted to end up someday.

I said that I don't ever think of the future.  To be completely honest, I'm so scared of it.  I'm a junoir in high school, which is the year they start talking to you about what college, and it really freaks me out.  I told him that I'm scared of the future because I don't know what college I'm going to go to, I don't know what I'm going to major in, I don't know what I'm going to do with my life... I just don't know.

I'm one of those people who likes to have complete control over a situation.  I like to know exactly what's going on and what's going to happen.  But right know, I'm so lost.  And that's what scares me.

And then he said something that completely flipped my ideas upside-down:

"Well, what do you love to do?"

What do I love to do?  That's an easy and a hard question at the same time.  I love to play music.  That's my passion.  But I'm so scared all the time that I'll never be good enough to do it as a career.

But as we kept talking about it, he made me realize, I worry too much.   If music is what I love, then nothing else is going to make me happy.  And if I want to be happy, I have to do what makes me happy, no matter what.  And If I want it badly enough, and I work hard enough, I can do anything I want.

It also made me think about the fact that even though I don't know what's going to happen, God does.  All I have to do is trust Him, and He will lead me where He wants me to go.  I really need to stop worrying so much.

I'm still scared of the future, I can't help it.  But I've learned that I can't dwell on it so much.  I'm so happy with how the present is going right now for me, that if I constantly worry about what's coming next, I won't be able to enjoy it.

Live for today, trust for tomorrow. 

Quote of the Day: "What lies behind us and what lies behind us are tiny matter to what lies within us."  -Oliver Windell Holmes

Thursday night, my sister, our friend Britney, and I all went to a Casting Crowns concert at a church in Longwood.  We were all really excited because Casting Crowns is one of our favorite Christian artists.  The reason why I wanted to share this with you, though, is that they sang one of their new songs that concert.  The song is on the radio already, but the cd hasn't come out yet.  I can't tell you how much their music never ceases to amaze me.  Not only are their voices beautiful, and their intrumentalists are very talented, but their lyrics are so powerful!  Their new song proves it.

"East to West"

Chorus:
Jesus can you show me just how
Far the east is from the west
‘Cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I know You’ve washed me white
Turn my darkness into life
I need Your peace to get me through
To get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel
About the truth Your word reveals
I’m not holding on to You
But You’re holding on to me
You’re holding on to me

*Chorus*
Jesus, You know just how
Far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been
Rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
‘Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other

I thought this song was so beautiful, and when it's live, it's even better. 

Quote of the day: "Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising everytime we fall."  -Confucius

For a couple of years now at least, I have been constructing a list of things I would like to do before I die.  My list is comprised of silly things, seemingly impossible things, and also serious things.  I thought it might make an interesting post to share some of my favorites on my list.  I put 15, but there's lots more. 

I put a couple on that I have already completed. 

build a snowman

be in a cloud

be in a food fight

ride the biggest rollar coaster in the world

skydive

write a novel

see the Paris Opera House

log roll down a hill

have a star named after me

go to a drive-in movie theater

do cartwheels on the beach

blow bubbles off a rollar coaster

try an exotic food

be in a snowball fight

learn how to swing dance

My list is my way of making sure that I'm living life to the fullest.

Have any of you done anything on my list or maybe have a list of your own?

Quote of the day: "Carpe Diem!  Sieze the day!"

Question of the day: If a chocolate cookie doesn't have chocolate chips, what flavor cookie is it?